Wednesday, April 17, 2013

How to Buy a "Personal Massager" jk! Vibrators!

I'm sorry for taking a break from posting, but my life has been a whirlwind lately of exciting personal projects, I haven't been able to write new stuff! And I'd rather take my time and write something good than give you guys crap. So, saying that, I'd like to come back with something truly sensational!
SEX TOYS. Oh yes.

If you live in America and you're up late in the middle of the night, you probably recognize this commercial.



This is the worst commercial to sell vibrators that I think anyone could make. First of all, what woman opens up a package containing her vibrator on the street infront of her other female neighbor? A weirdo. Get away from her before she starts stroking your hair and invites you to that swingers club downtown with her husband. 

Sex toys can be very useful in your everyday life, as stress relievers, as ways to become more in tune with your body and sexual needs, ways to supplement sex when you have a disability, and as ways to connect to your partner sexually.  I wanted to talk about a specific kind of sex toy, my favorite, the vibrator!

Its sure is! If by shoulder you mean genitals! 

The vibrator is an electrical device that can be for external or internal use, some use batteries and some plug into a socket, others have remote controls, can be used with iphone apps, have dual vaginal and clitoral stimulation or work underwater. Whatever you've got going on between your legs there's something for it! 
Let's talk about some different type of vibes and what they are good for. 
Fingo Nubby Finger Vibrator, found here

  • Egg/Pocket Rocket - direct clitoral stimulation, discrete (able to fit in a purse or on a plane, for that girl on the go!), can be used on other erogenous zones like nipples and anus, are made out of hard plastic (for example the egg), metal, to look like something its not (a tube of lipstick or a mascara wand for example), or silicone with nubs on it for added pleasure. 
Power Bullet Mini Vibrator, found here
Studio Collection Lipstick Vibrator, found here

  • Dildo - used for internal stimulation, looks totally somewhat like a dick kinda, can be used to get on that g-spot, but be careful of the one's without bases those get lost up in vagaga's the most, and alot are made of silicone to replicate the actual feel of skin.  
The All American Whopper, found here

  • Rabbit (or Dual Stimulators)  - these are used in the vagoo and has an arm for direct clit sensation. So this will probably blow your mind and change the way you feel about men. You may decide you totally aren't into men anymore after experiencing this, just a forewarning. Has a peen shaped dildo vibrator that you fuck yourself with and a smaller finger shaped vibrator that lays on top of your clit. Another feature that some have is the rotating beads that are built inside of them, these move the dildo around inside of you for another level of mind blowing pleasure. A real penis may not be enough for you after this. 
16 Function Super Rabbit Vibrator, found here
  • Anal Vibrators - these are for your butt. They are often shaped like butt plugs but with a remote or built in dial. These are great for men too for direct prostate stimulation (oh you thought I forgot about the men huh?). Put one of these inside of him as he is fucking you or receiving oral sex and he's going to be cumming all over the place. 
Clear Jelly Butt Plug 

  • "Traditional Vibrators" - these are the no muss, no fuss vibes and they are pretty straight forward. Usually made out of hard plastic, with a dial turn on the bottom, they have a straight shape and go right up in your business. If you don't want to go crazy with clit hungry rabbits, realistic dong action or buttfun you could try one of these, and just get the job done. And by job, I mean all kinds of crazy orgasms. 
Candy Cane Waterproof Vibrator, found here

There are all sorts of other vibrators out there, wands, butterflies, double penetration, vibrating panties, all kinds! The ones I listed are good to get you started. Depending on what you are looking for you can find what you want out of a vibrator. 
There are some other things I should note; get a big pack of batteries (it sucks to run out in the middle of a good climax), buy sex toy cleaner, find a safe place to put it, and don't abuse it. Treat your toy well, it will do the same for you.  
Here is a link about the types of materials to be mindful of when you buy a sex toy. Since there is no regulation in America about the types of materials sex toys can be made out of, you need to be careful before putting anything in your body.    
If you don't have a sex store near you, as many don't, there are some really excellent online sex stores to order from, Babeland, Adam and Eve, GoodVibes, and Eden's Fantasy. Most of them have discrete packaging and billing processes and a helpful customer service center. 
Here is how I spent my last post-Valentine's Day day. 

Right now I own a vibrator from the company Evolved, it's a waterproof, 3 speed, "slender" butterfly (hot damn!). It's a little thick for my taste but the head rotates and the material is very soft. The butterfly is so strong that I usually only go up one speed, the sensations are very good and I often use it externally just on my clity-clit. It is crazy loud though, but has a nice handle on it. 
I'd recommend it highly, because it's probably the best vibrator I've ever had. 

Enjoy this video by Cyndi Lauper "She Bop" a fun song about the joys of self service.


Well I hope this helped somewhat and you found something interesting about this. Sexuality is not something to be kept in the dark, under the covers! Developing your sexual health is as important as your mental health, intellectual health, or relationships. As I stated, vibrators have so many more uses that just getting off on, have fun and experiment

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