Tuesday, April 23, 2013

The Women of Sci-fi

Recently a lot of new sci-fi movies have been coming out, Oblivion starring Tom Cruise, Star Trek: Into Darkness starring Chris Pine, After Earth starring Will Smith, Man of Steel starring Henry Cavill, World War Z starring Brad Pitt, all huge soon to be blockbusters but what else do they have in common? All led by dudes. It's understood in the industry that men are the main target for science fiction movies but are they? Women have proven time and time again that they want more than the sappy, saccharine predictability of a romantic comedy. We are constantly glossed over for the brawny, ultra man who punches first and punches later, but there are amazing female characters in science fiction. Some are all brain, some more tough, others sexy, but they represent the varied view of women and the credibility of being a kick ass woman in a frightening, often foreign, threatening world.




  • Dana Scully - partner of Fox Mulder in the hit TV show The X-Files, Scully was the hard to impress FBI agent assigned to keep Mulder in check. And in check she kept him, for nine seasons. Scully was the skeptical one with the gun and despite running into aliens, shapeshifters, mythical beasts and all kinds of other fuckery she always kept her head. Played by Gillian Anderson, she was panned for the role because they wanted a more glamorous "bombshell" for the role but Anderson proved them wrong. She was the glue that held Mulder together, often saving him from danger, and through her analysis skills, navigating the audience through the perils of the X-Files. 

  • Uhura - no matter when you started watching Star Trek, whether the 1966 or the 2009 version, you recognize the beautiful and talented character of  Lieutenant Nyota Uhura. One of the first black characters not depicted on television in a role of subservience. The first black character to be depicted on television in a science fiction show. The first black female character to have a scripted interracial kiss on television. She was cited as a role model for Whoopi Goldberg, Dr. Martin Luther King and Mae Jemison, the first black woman to fly in space. Uhura's role as a communications officer was not just important to the crew of the Enterprise but to the world at large. 


  • Barbarella - set in the future where there is no war or weapons, Barbarella is an agent sent to find a mad scientist who has created some crazy ass non specific weapon. This movie is a trippy ass, crazy ass 70's explosion of nonsensical crazy that you'd have to be crazy to like. I love this movie. First of all her costumes are giving it to the gods, second she beats the bad guy by OUT ORGASMING HIS DEATH MACHINE, third she fucks an angel. I rest my case. 


  • Rachael - who was Rachael? The character of Rachael from the scifi classic Blade Runner has been a point of controversy for a while. In a world where 'replicants', artificial humans, are created with implanted memories begin to think and feel like they are human, Rachael knows that she is human, but does having memories really make you human? Rachael was a beautiful, mysterious, marvel of modern technology in the style of a 1940's femme fatale but she was so much more than that. 


  • Trinity - don't tell me that in 1999 you didn't go apeshit for The Matrix? You bough a vinyl coat and started doubting you reality and tried to download awesome kung-fu moves from the internet. You didn't? Well... neither did I.... Anyway Trinity was the dangerous and lethal crew member of the Nebuchadnezzar and the later love interest of Neo, the savior of the real world. Trinity was a true bad-ass whose slicked back hair and cold as ice expression sent us into lady crushes everywhere.


  • Princess Leia - the queen of scifi, can we be honest? Princess Leia who started off the Star Wars series as a classic damsel in distress (boooring!) and ended up choking a pudding blob monster to death, in a bikini, with her own chains. Her sarcastic humour and taste for bad boys made us love her enough to excuse her incest kiss with her own brother. 


  • Leeloo -  the movie was called The 5th Element and she was literally the 5th element. Do you get it?? Or maybe love was the 5th element... I can't remember because all I can think about is how I can get my hands on one of those Chanel automatic eye make-up do hickeys. Leeloo was the ultimate human and could understand things far beyond the comprehension of contemporary man, all with the vocabulary of a 5 year old and wrapped in toilet paper. Try to watch the 5th Element without saying 'multipass' I dare you. 


  • Zoe Washburne - there's a phrase for women like Zoe, I believe it is "ride or die". Yeah, thats it. Zoe is one of those ride or die girls, she would do anything for her husband, including killing a few bitch ass suckas. Zoe is the one of the members of the crew Serenity and does her fair share of kicking ass. Her husband Wash, pilot of the ship, often needs saving and he relies on his lady love to protect him. 

  • Sarah Connor - admittedly I have never seen a single Terminator movie (yup that's right) and I don't know much about this character. But I was told I had to include her on this list, so here she freaking is. 


  • Kusanagi Makoto - that's Major Kusanagi Mokoto to you.  She is the cyborg of your dreams and if you try to hit on her she will blow your stupid face off. She is the hyper advanced squad leader of Public Security Section 9 and if you are any sort of terrorist jacking your way into someone's brain you better run and hide because there's no coming back from where she's gonna take you. 


  • Storm - imagine having the power to control the power of the Earth. Tornadoes  tsunamis, volcanoes  earthquakes, all yours to manipulate at will. Now imagine havign to be second rate to that flaming loose cannon of cock teasing pussy magic named Jean Grey who at one time or another TRIED TO DESTROY THE UNIVERSE. But that's neither here no there. Storm born Ororo Monroe is one of Charles Xavier's X-men, sometimes the leader,  former leader of the Morlocks, member of the Avengers, and queen of Wakanda. She is a skilled fighter, highly intellectually developed and an accomplished, proven leader. Did I mention she fucking controls the weather? Mess with Storm, say bye bye to you house, your car, and all 8 layers of skin.  


  • Cpt Janeway - the first female captain to be given her own series on Star Trek. Cpt. Kathryn Janeway was shot into a time hole and had to fight her way through 70,000 light years of time. Holy Shit. Can you fathom that? No. No you can't.  


  • Ripley - what is there to say about the ultimate intergalactic alien cunt kicking bad-ass Ripley that hasn't already been said? If you've seen the Alien movies you know that Ripley doesn't take anyone's shit and when everything has gone to shit she's the only one capable of putting those slimy cockroaches in their place. Originally written as a male character, Sigourney Weaver was cast as the main character proving that women are capable of being tough and not needing to be saved by a man. 


  • Paprika - the DC Mini has been invented and your therapist can now travel into your dreams to help you. Awkward. Better get rid of all those filthy sex dreams with your history teacher. Paprika is the alter ego of  Dr. Atsuko Chiba who is a carefree, resourceful foil of Atsuko's uptight flustered personality. When three of the machines are stolen, the chief of the department researching dreams goes inside and  tries to kill himself, Atsuko goes on a mission to find the culprit. Through the subconscious, the ID, the ego, the digital world and our own selfish desires and hopes Atsuko uses Paprika to navigate this world and find the culprit. 

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