Thursday, April 25, 2013

When you hate where you live


I've been thinking of writing this since I opened this blog. I weighed if it was appropriate or just the rants of a bitter girl. But in light of recent personal experiences, I had to write about it.
I hate where I live.
I hate the people, the way they dress, how the city looks, the public transportation system, the sports teams, the mentality, the attitudes, the resistance to change, the lack of opportunity, the lack of things to do, the lack of diversity, good food but most of all the hideous men.
Over the course of my life I have lived in many different places, including overseas. I've seen so many different cultures, people, dress, attitudes, languages, and adapted to them with ease, but I've never struggled so much as living here. I have only been here for 3 years and yet I feel like it's been alot longer. I never felt accepted or welcomed, I was greeted with hostility, skepticism  negativity, and mockery. This was not my town and despite how excited I was to move back, the feeling had quickly fleeted. I realized this town was very closed off to outsiders, especially different outsiders.
But I refuse to change. I refuse to dress differently, act differently or enjoy different things and I refused to bend to the will of many for the comfort of "fitting in".
Whether  you live in a town too big or too small, too narrow, too rural, too fast, or whatever here are some hints for dealing with living in a town you hate.

  • Escape whenever you can - leave town, get out, drive, take a bus, go somewhere else. It's easy to feel as though your shitty little town is it, and there is nothing better, but there is. For me, I take the Megabus to New York City and take a breather. Remind yourself there is something out there, there are more people, there are fun things and your town is not the end of the world. 
  • Connect with outside people - find people on the internet that you can connect to. People who live interesting lives or who live in the city you want to live in. You don't want to be grounded. grounded it keeping you rooted to something you don't want. You need to be up in the air, you need to free yourself from the binds of your crap town. 
  • Try to find something that you enjoy - this can be hard. I know of many small towns where the only thing to do is hang out at the local Walmart or diner, but find a park or a store. Find a quiet place where you can write or create by yourself, think and have private time. There isn't much where I live but I enjoy going to the museum. I can be alone and even though most of the art is not authentic, but replicas, I enjoy being around art, I can escape. 
  • Start a blog! - that's what I did! I wrote a blog to help me deal with the everyday problems of my life. Dealing with depression, loneliness  and creative out bursts that had no where to be placed. If you are finding it hard to deal with your life and where you are, write about it in a blog, or start a Tumblr and put up pictures of all the places you'd like to live. 
  • Move - okay, I know that's easier said than done but listen. You don't have to stay there. You don't. Thousands of years ago your ancestors moved across continents to get where they are, on foot. You can catch a plane to a new place. You can. It's tough but doable. Research where you want to move to, the job market, places to live, and rent prices. Save your money, this is necessary. The amount you need to save is up is dependent on where you are moving to. Once you get there, settle in, find a job, get to know the neighborhood and join some social groups. You should view this as a way to start living the life you want. 
I don't believe in settling  I don't believe in living a less than life and compromising your wants. Life is for living and you should take what you want out of it. Make NO apology about what you want in life, because it's what your heart demands. If you are being called elsewhere and you are miserable where you live, don't ignore that. You are being pulled to bigger, better things. The universe is calling you to your destiny. GO! 

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